Room Service

Room Service - the longed for event on every young traveler's wish list. Young could mean age or experience when it comes to traveling, either way room service sounds exotic and something that must be experienced. For those of us who have done a bit more traveling it is something to be avoided if at all possible. Recently I ordered room service because it was simply too late and I was too tired to go out. Ok, and it was in New York on a Friday night and every place was packed with people. So room service it was. Things went fairly well. Nothing vital was fogotten and the bill was almost correct. Not bad. It brought back a room service memory though that I thought I would share.

Picture China. (Yes, the country) Decent hotel, nice even by Western standards and located centrally in Beijing. We've been out doing touristy things all day and are hot, tired, sweaty and thirsty. Oh, and cranky. Really cranky. This is the first country we had ever been in where my guy didn't have a total command of the language and he had to rely on my point and grunt technique for communication all day. It works, don't knock it. But when you can speak damn near any language in the world and suddenly find yourself relying on this method...well,it is frustrating at best and that is what was happening to my guy. I'd managed to score us several cans of Coke (the drink of the world, trust me on this) from a street vendor and we had them in the hotel room with us. What we didn't have was ice. Warm coke wasn't going to solve the thirst problem. My guy decides the answer is room service. Not that anyone in the hotel has had the ability to converse in English so far but, hey, hope springs eternal. He looks the phone over and discovers a "room service" button and pushes it. Lo and behold, the person answers in perfect, nearly unaccented English "Hello, this is room service. How may I help you?" My guy gratefully says "I'm in room 2451, may I have a bucket of ice delivered, please?" In return he gets a torrent of Chinese. He repeats himself, gets another torrent of Chinese and so on and so on and..... you get the idea. Finally he slams the phone down, turns to me and lets fly with things I just won't repeat. He is upset to say the least and I do the exact wrong thing. I laugh. Out loud. He says "You think you can do better? Be my guest!" Now, having been a smartass, I have no choice but to pick up the phone and push the room service button. And I hear "Hello, this is room service. How may I help you?" Being not so smart at times I repeat the request for ice. And, yes, get a torrent of Chinese in response. However, I am a master of the point and grunt language and those skills do not now fail me. I say "ICE" (loudly of course). Another torrent of Chinese. I repeat "ICE" The response is now "Water?" "No," I say "ICE." "Water?" "ICE." "Water?" "Yes, water, brrrrrr" "OK (torrent of Chinese)." Click. Evidently I made a connection of some sort because the person hung up. My guy is looking at me with his mouth wide open and eyes bugging out. "Water, brrrr?," he says. "Well," I answer "now we see what happens." About 20 minutes goes by and there is a knock on the door. "Room Service" rings out a distinctly Chinese voice. We bang into each other trying to get to the door first. My guy wins and yanks open the door. There stands a man in a 1950's-straight-from-Hollywood red bellman suit complete with square cap and white gloves. He holds a beautiful silver tray and placed ever so carefully in the center of that lovely tray was a delicate bone china teacup containing exactly three pieces of ice. With elegance and panache the man entered the room, placed the tray on the table, turned with a large smile, said in clear-as-a-bell English "You are welcome" and held out his hand. My guy tipped him, sent him on his way, turned to me and said:
"Next time can you say BIG water- brrrr?"

Sometimes you just have to love room service.